How To Forget The Self ,-Dedicated to Swami Akhananda Maharaj .

There are many ways of knowing the self , And the service for the others is one , The painful bundle of morbid memories , Are replaced by yeoman-worship’s fun . The oblivion of the self , Comes from dedication to others , For the Father remains dormant in all , And Karma means to serve the Father . He who forgets the self by liberating in all , He needs no cause to know the rise and fall . For the glory of Atman is beyond quality attachment , Our Savior’s life confirms this truth-evoking statement .

The Scheming Compromise

Miss All Compromise since her moderate-school days from the age of 14 ,down to 12-grade examination had always been a searcher of a rich and handsome boy . She had searched in every nook and corner to discover one that would marry her . Several introductions , as occasional meetings , came and went , but none showed the gut to forward a suit .It was perhaps of her lower social status that did not allow a close tie with any guy above her rank . She has tried with all possible measures , as the butterfly sections of women ever do . But alas! , neither her youth nor her womanly allurement could produce the coveted result . Miss All Compromise at the age of 28 met a an old bachelor ,-Mr.Margon Hide who lived in the same colony where she was born and brought up . She knew him from a distance and had casual talks . She had read his interest to her , but the age gap ,-a gap of twenty years never approved her psychology about the possibility of a marriage by way-plucking love . But necessity knows no law, she needs a security and shelter ,-the husband and the home . This aged guy is a clerk of a merchant office and he has his own flat that he recently purchased .And again he has no encumbrance to provide . ‘Ah! It would be a pigeon-nest ,-age mattes little , many young women have age-double husband , and more over when an old bachelor marries a young girl , he remains a salve to her wife , as he supposes that the wife may elope with some young guy ‘ ,- she speculated within herself . The proposal was forwarded by a office colleague ,-a officer far above the rank of Mr. Mrgon . Miss All Compromise knew the man ,the - go-between as in her teen he showed his fascination to her . But as the man loved a another girl so the prospect after one or two park-bench sittings faded away . Later Miss Compromise could know that the girl eloped with a young boy junior to her age . And since then the Mr. Way Aside has taken a vow that he would never marry . The wedding was conducted in the city chapel in presence of few friends , and among them ,-Mr. Way Side was the co-coordinator . The couple returning home , attended a small party and then went to their bridal bed . The tidal of the romance though not an easy going continued nearly six months . And then there began to grow a gap between the wife and the husband . It appeared to Mrs. All Compromise that her husband lacked the very manliness of a man by which he satisfies the woman . At first she bore with the conjugal starvation with the hunger of a python , and yet she had the hope that she might become a mother . For her husband at least is not an imbecile , though not strong and wild in the secret affair . The husband ever took care the wife , and fulfilled the pretty economy of a house wife . But the wife needed more .She dreamed a car , some set of gorgeous gowns , and excess pocket money that are prerogative of all young wives .Mean while Mr.Way Side used to pay occasional visits and often took the couple to costly restaurants and corporate party . He was a lonely bachelor ,he had money , branded car ,but no woman of his own . The intimacy between Mrs. All Compromise and Mr. Way Side grew so deep and intensified that they were about to cross the boarder –line . The wife hatched upon a plan to manage exclusive time ,so that she could be more familiar to Mr. Way Side , in her husband’s absence . She otherwise expressed her disgust against the prosaic solvency of the family , and urged the husband to take over-time job . For if a child comes from them , then they would need more money for affording the child a better schooling . Mr. Margon agreed ,’Yes I wish to work extra hours if I get a overtime –job ‘ . “How nice you are “ said the wife . ‘But how I would get the job? “ –pronounced the husband . ‘No matter , I would tell Mr. Way Side ,and he would certainly open the avenue . But I think you must appeal him first “ . “Why not ? I must “ –said the husband . The wife concealed the got up game , as she previously conspired with Mr. Way Side . Within a week the husband was engaged by the office manager for serving the management job for a period of three hours ,other than his usual duty ,-10 am to 5 p.m . Hence forth she was free to be with Mr. Way Side from five to 8.p.m . Now Mr. Way Side what do you think ? You need not have a suspicious casting and me too will not be in fear of detection “ –whispered the lady in a low voice . ‘Yes , but how long we would continued this lechery ? –replied Mr. Way Side . Oh! No , I would manage , and he would never be able to catch us red-handed in a questionable situation “ ,-the woman assured . And since then they the cod-line was opened . Time has its own flow . Two years are gone . They celebrated the 2nd marriage anniversary . The wife and the husband agreed , as they were deprived of any issue , to consult a doctor . The doctor examined the both , took all kind of hormonal tests , and declared ,- “I am Sorry Mr.Margon , you would not be able to become a father “ .This was a shock , but not a bolt from the blue . For , their two years continual union yielded no result . The wife and the husband , both had psychic suspicion on each other , as who was impotent . Now the mystery is revealed . A traumatic sense of remorse seconded by unbearable self pity came upon Ma.Margon . He did not know what to do and how to console his wife . Mrs .All Compromise wearing a sorrowful face expressed her utter despondency as if she had lost every thing of her life .She did not speak a single word . Her silence greatly mattered to her husband . But with what consolation he could heal ! Mrs All Compromise within herself found a solution of her own . As the husband’s weakness was her capital so she would exploit her husband . Moreover ,she would not leave her husband keeping pushing him in social disgrace . But how she would disclose the secret . Once in a night ,Mr. Margon while caressing her in the bed said ,” I am an unworthy husband to you , I am really good for nothing . but yet I wish you be a mother “ .” How dare you say that” Said the wife . Then there was a deep pause .But the wife with trillion eagerness waited for coming out her coveted catch . Yes the cat came out from the bag . Mr Margon in his natural voice , as if nothing happened to him said ,” you know I am impotent , and save you no one knows it . Now if you , by your craft can seduce Mr. Way Side to the extent of being conceived , I would not mind . For in that case Mr. Way Side , would never be able to know that he is the father of the child . And the matter of my impotency would ever remain concealed” . With stirred affectation the wife reacted,” What a hell you say ! Are you urging your wife to sacrifice her chastity for your honor and happiness ? “ . No darling ,no ,-my cause is else where .It is for your motherhood with a sweet child in your lap , and then the penance of my inability . And now it is upto you . Your happiness is my happiness “ . The wife did not argue further . Lapping a kiss on her husband’s cheeks ,-she kept a while with a strong hug , and then with a smile she approved . What a child would do to her ! It would bind her with the tie of bondage . More over ,-the newly discovered ecstasy with Mr. Way Side would find a break if she gets pregnant . So she speculated that she would use pills , and prevent the possibility of pregnancy . Mr. Margn knowing well of the plot , regularly returns home late . He began to take occasional office tours , and stayed out station . Mean while some months elapsed , but Mrs’ All Compromise gave no signs of getting conceived . ‘What’s the matter ? Do you not allow him ?” Said Mr. Margon to his wife . “ Yes atlast on last Friday ,-I succeeded to have his sperm . You know it is a mammoth task for a wife “ Said the lady . Ok ,-thank you ,-go on . I am hoping the good news would come soon .” . But alas no news did come . Months glided in to year , and years advanced from two to three ,-no good news did come . Since these three years Mrs. All Compromise had taken pregnancy preventative measure , and always fabricated lie . But when she willed, she did , she found no change . One day ,she exposed to Mr. Way Side ,”I wanted to be your child’s mother , and with that hope I have offered myself to you for the last three years , behind my husband’s back , -keeping my husband in the dark , but sorry ! I was not given any bliss “ . I did not tell you , I thought that you knew from the fact of not using condom on my part . I am impotent , and for that I did not marry “ . Stated Mr . Way Side . And since then , he did not come to Mrs. All Compromise . A month later the post man brought a registered envelop , and when it was revealed she found a bank draft of 50 thousand dollars and a letter ,” Dear Compromise , I have violated the moral code , I have betrayed my dearest friend and you . Here is something for your service and my love . What an impotent lover can offer than that . No matter I know , your husband too is impotent . I wish you should try your luck for the third time “